Non-Cons 2002

Don't take these too seriously. :)

In alphabetical order...

19th century novel

• starr's hair
• emma
• pride and prejudice
• harvey mansfield
• pride and predjudice
• dev

all-knowing evil villain

• Tom
• cassia
• withers

apropos of nothing

• mary grace
• parsley
• needing a ham

awww

• lis & dev
• kaitlin
• fuck you dennis clark

bane of carpet cleaners

• hrsfa
• lime tostitos with a hint of sex

bane of hrsfa

• kendo club
• chloe lopez
• hcs
• bane
• carpet cleaners
• the showing of the neverending story
• continued existence of the lampoon
• noteables
• academic probation
• disciplinary probation
• HRTV

best buffy musical drinking game

• drink whenever someone inappropriately drops an r -- drink twice when it's sarah michelle gellar
• drink whenever you wish that giles were singing
• go to a party whenever someone drinks sing songs from the buffy musical
• I hate david and starr

best cause

• death to the kendo club
• love & peace
• great justice

best cinnimon substitute

• cassia
• myrrh
• erin
• cendri

best non-con office

• scapegoat
• all your base
• buffet dictator

best trial by fire for new officers

• charles
• tony
• non cons

better

• lime tostitos
• regular tostitos
• sex
• lack of sex
• sex with a hint of lime
• lime tostitos with a hint of sex
• clones

big liar

• sundell
• odin
• paul bunyan
• loki

big

• run
• mac

bitch with a stick

• cassia
• bryn
• dennis
• tse wei
• mary grace
• monica

brainless swollen life-sucking god of death

• the core curriculum
• the spirit of the forest
• brawl
• angel
• expos
• CS51
• the adboard
• rei ayanami
• evil box step
• my freshman roommate
• enterprise
• the Nose
• palm pilots

brainy smurf

• aaron
• david speyers
• noam elkies

bryn

• kristin
• dennis the eternal prefrosh

caesar

• dev
• salad
• dennis
• kaiser soze

cataan boy

• kartik
• tony
• tom

catherder

• dennis
• rebecca

celebrity who most looks like dennis clark

• sarah michelle gellar
• alan rickman
• jeff goldblum

chief eater off the table

• neil
• david speyer

cream puff

• charles
• oliver cromwell
• bismark

cutest couple

• lis & dev
• woodstein
• woodward & bernstein
• CLex
• jeff & heather
• heather & catan boy
• aaron & kaitlin
• tse wei & diana
• spuffy
• bike
• rebecca & neil
• dev & tony

dennis the eternal prefrosh

• dennis
• kartik
• actor in a supporting role
• bryn

drunk with power

• cassia
• tonic water
• HRSFA
• pun inspector
• munchies sig
• munchies
• dennis

explicator

• cassia
• feh

flaming voodoo

• the sun (sol)

gandalf

• tom lotze

ghengis khan

• krisin
• tse wei
• mary grace

god and his prophet

• tom & matt
• rael
• god & malachai
• god & zephaniah
• jesus++
• allah & mohammad
• his box & profit

grand vizier

• warren
• kevin gold
• matt withers

greatest laugh ever

• henri

has four kings

• dev
• jesus++

herded cat

• bryn

HRSFA

• HRSpFA
• harvard remedial spelling association
• hrsfa
• roxor
• harvard elastic reality association

HRSFA's new home

• lampoon castle

lance corporal

• warren
• tse wei
• neil

least likely to not be harry potter

• kaitlin heller
• kevin gold

lookalikes

• ben & tony
• moira & mary grace
• warren & warren
• sundell & mitzi the drag queen & ben folds & agent smith & elrond
• dev & kartik
• nadia & secret of atlantis

lord high executioner

• bryn
• ender
• rebecca

mafia

• rebecca
• lucy
• lis
• tom
• myself
• obviously not tony

mao

• tom lotze
• bill zaientz

martyr

• fatima
• lis
• matt withers

mascot

• our beloved undead elmo
• megatron
• dev's guitar
• orange juice carton
• enterprise

miss hrsfa (men only)

• tse weo
• tony & dev
• kyle

most creative use of a catan board

• tony & heather
• tostitos with a hint of sex
• surface of the planet mars

most creative use of tony & heather

• catan board
• lime tostitos
• raunchiest non-con meeting in memory

most flammable

• undead elmo
• dev's guitar
• the roof
• tony's tv

most hated moon

• tune moon
• rhyming moon
• sailor moon
• antitruth moon

most like a cereal

• david kowarsky
• Lime Tostitos with a Hint of Sex
• Life

most likely to be colonized by rabbits

• warren

most likely to become dictator of a small country

• bryn
• tom lotze
• tse wei
• tony
• warren
• oliver cromwell

most smokable catan resourse

• sheep
• jungle points
• volcano gold
• rock
• wheat
• crack
• weed
• Most Creative Use of a Catan Board

my big brother

• kyle

my hero

• neil
• tom
• kyle

name of dev's guitar

• bob
• robert paulsen
• malachai
• vash the stamper

ninja

• charles
• cassia

not dennis the eternal prefrosh

• me
• kartik
• bryn
• *dennis the eternal prefrosh

not to be trusted with bleach

• dev
• charles
• tony

officer who should be a scapegoat

• charles
• dennis
• kartik
• rebecca
• tony
• cassia
• kaitlin

oldest hrsfan

• kartik
• kyle
• god
• tom lotze
• emma
• isaac asimov
• ender
• terry pratchett
• claudia
• jesus++

paul bunyan

• aaron dinkin
• babe the blue ox

planet in need of a sailor scout

• rupert

pleasant question mark

• monica
• warren

professor of potions

• dennis
• cassia

pun inspector

• moira
• aaron

puppet dictator

• neil rudenstein
• yoda
• undead elmo

rat king

• jeff goldblum
• nutcracker
• warren

raunchiest non-con meeting in memory

• this meeting
• next meeting
• meeting in '96

really impressive title

• kowarsky
• erin
• catan
• cassia

recurring level boss

• death
• taxes
• dan bartlett
• harvey mansfield
• dean harry lewis

recursion

• recursion
• *tail recursion
• life is life
• if (n>0) recursion (n-1) else: life is life
• (break)
• noncons
• warehouse explosion

resident crack dealer

• mary grace
• *catan boy

room whose blackboard we should use next

• sever 113
• sci ctr c

saviours of the library

• moira & rebecca

saying the name of the game during the game

• bill

scapegoat

• erin
• dev
• warren
• lis
• starr
• "that chair"
• damn freshman
• igor teper
• dev & lis
• *bane of hrsfa
• holworthy 14

second bad guy to get beaten up during a jackie chan movie

• tse wei
• jet li

she blinded me with zaientz

• bill

silly comedy

• emma
• the eddas
• angel
• *Raunchiest Non-Con Meeting in Memory

silly commie

• emma
• leftist gorilla
• dev
• tony
• cassia
• karl marx
• papa smurf
• jon lithgow
• mao
• lime tostitos with a hint of sex

song from the buffy musical that becomes most annoying when sung by members of hrsfa

• rest in peace
• walk through the fire
• going through the motions

sorceress-journeyman of the quadrangle

• moira
• rebecca
• undead elmo

splitter

• rebecca
• charles
• popular judean people's front
• henri

stone cold

• mary grace
• tse wei

sugar glutton of hades

• kyle
• cerberus
• curunir
• curophin

supreme masochist

• tse wei

surface of the planet mars

• kristin
• david speyers

tail recursion

• *tail recursion
• stack overflow
• *not dennis the eternal prefrosh

tallest former co-chair

• bryn
• kyel
• cassia
• kareem abdul-jabar

teamwork ninja

• ender

tenor of the discussion

• you
• me
• myself
• I
• ender
• ben
• warren
• *raunchiest noncon meeting in memory

that guy

• zaphod
• kartik
• tony
• henri
• ben
• trevor
• kowarsky

the man!

• jeff
• bert vaux
• tom lotze
• batman

the man

• tom
• jeff
• batman
• alan rickman

the one

• kartik
• henri
• neo
• myself
• cypher
• {{}}

the other one

• kartik
• jet li
• neil
• {0|}

the plural

• HRSFen
• HRSFAns
• HRSFAta
• HRSpFen

the robber in the catan movie

• samuel l. jackson

the solution to newcomb's box problem

• take both
• 1

the stick

• dennis
• fuck you all
• tony

title of that .*ig* (Enterprise)

• sig
• siglet
• zig
• never will be a sig
• increasingly improbable sig

tom bombadil

• neil
• glorfindel
• iluvatar

tony *fucking* vila

• tony
• dev
• kartik

tony

• bismark

totally sweet ninja

• emma
• dev
• lis
• cassia
• erin

true name of the lampoon castle

• castle vonkorff

vash the stampede

• charles
• holworthy 14
• kowarsky
• not knives

vile temptress

• kaitlin
• mindy

wanker

• charles
• jesse zalatan

what do we want

• *better
• brains
• living wage now
• now
• death to the kendo society
• best cause
• Most Creative Use of a Catan Board

when do we want it

• brains
• munchies
• now

elder of the flame of udun

• rebecca
• a penny
• bert vaux
• tse wei

wielder of the word

• bert vaux
• phantom tollbooth

youngest hrsfan

• *oldest hrsfan
• kyle
• warren

your other left

• dev
• tony
• emma

your other lover

• lis
• carl bernstein
• leonard bernstein
• leonard cohen
• karl marx
• *not dennis the eternal prefrosh

Doesn't make any sense to you? Don't worry; it doesn't to us either. That's part of the fun.